"Oh mighty seer, what do you see in the grounds of your jumpstart. What is gonna happen during the next year? Can you give us a hint?"
Well, yeah. But the grounds in that jumpstart pot don't tell me nothing...but here's what I divined when I looked at some dawg doo...
On the economy:
The current recession will turn into a full blown depression before the year is out. All consumer goods except food will come down in price but few do much buying because those who have the money to buy are going to be smart enough to wait for a better price and the rest can barely buy the over priced groceries.
There will be riots in most of the projects when they find out that their 'savior' Hassan Obama is sending auditors to the grocery stores to prevent those in the projects from buying cigarettes with their food ration cards.
Crude oil prices will rise to above fifty dollars during the first part of the year and the plummet to just above twenty dollars a barrel by December as demand for gasoline lessens by fifty percent. Those who have money to buy gasoline will keep up just enough demand so that the oil companies will show a profit...
The only stocks that will pay a dividend are the big oil companies and Wal'Mart..sweetthing will insure that Wally World makes a profit...
General Motors will get a multi-billion dollar bail-out from the Federal Government only to wind up in Chapter 11 bankruptcy court where they will negoiate a deal with one of the only companies in the world who have the funds to buy them out...either Shell Oil or Exxon Mobil. Ford and Chrysler will stay out of bankruptcy court but will combine after locking out the UAW until they get a new contract that makes them competitive with the Rice Burners.
John Deere and Caterpillar breaks even but warns UAW that they may also lock out labor.
The decreasing gasoline prices send the price of ethanol spiraling down. Big agri-business that has invested heavily in corn for ethanol will lose billions and send the economy into deeper depression.
Precious metal will become even more precious..especially full metal jacket type.
On the political scene:
New president Hussein Obama's administration will be overwhelmed with scandal...they are democrats and just can't help themselves.
At least one person who tried to expose the 'goods' on Hillary Clinton wakes up dead.
Probably a well known blogger or maybe a not so well known journalist. The death will be covered up as usual by the left wing press.
The Chinese will call the USA notes after the Obama administration puts a high tariff on Chinese imports. Obama will just direct the mints to print more money which will be used to pay China. Because of the 20 trillion extra dollars Obama puts into circulation the dollar becomes almost worthless everywhere but the USA where a severe depression and overstock still has consumer goods much cheaper in dollars than in 2008.
On the weather
Once the Obama Kool ade drinkers find that Al Gore has been lying like a sick dawg about the global warming crises they will start to scream about global cooling. This might be because the January and February ice storms in the North East and North west will continue on into early April.
Severe rain storms on the west coast will insure that much of California winds up in the Pacific Ocean where the sunken houses will make excellent spawning ground for the coastal fishery. The fishing industry begins to think about hiring and sends word to Mexico for some illegal aliens.
On the entertainment world:
Two famous actresses are caught on film practicing their smiles by sucking on doorknobs.
On December 14, 2009 a film about an American politician, "Queer is as Queer Does", breaks all box office records for a single weekend. On December 15, 2009 Barney Frank sues the film maker.
On Sweetthing's Half Acre:
GUYK will spend even more time musing over the events while sitting in the porch rocker or in an easy chair under the Live Oak grove.
Sweetthing will continue to insure that the local Wally World's show a profit.
GUYK will get the 'new truck' bug but will continue to drive the Red Ram...
By mid-May GUYK will be chowing down on home grown Kentucky Pole Beans and some sun ripened 'maters.
GUYK and Sweetthing will make at least two trips to Georgia to see the Catfish and his missus.
GUYK will buy at least one more new gun...maybe two.
And there you have it. My predictions for the coming year. I am betting that I am right although on a lot of it I am hoping I am wrong...especially the economy. I don't really care about California sliding off into the Pacific...what the movie stars lose the fish will gain...
And how about you? What are your predictions for 2009?
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